Registry Wednesday: OMFG

Three words: Pottery Barn Kids. One abbreviated expletive: OMFG.

I feel compelled to give a brief summary of a registry I recently discovered from the above retailer (prices approximated):

* $1200 Rocker and Ottoman

* $600 Changing Table

* $400 Crib

* $100 Side Table

Surely prospective parents who register for these items know that in a matter of months, the side of that crib is going to be chewed to such an extent it'll look like Mom gave birth to a gaggle of woodchucks. They have to know that the Rocker/Ottoman combo costs more than my mortgage...and that its plush fabric will eventually be sullied by any number of baby yucks.

Baby registries are now like new cars. Whether it's an Audi, a Volkswagen, or a Datsun, it's out there, and it's more than just a way to get around.

Registry Wednesday

One of the strangest things I hear from expectant mothers is "I can't wait for my body to be mine again." While this flies in the face of basic pregnancy expectations we all should have before embarking on such a state, this mindset can lead to a goldmine for the brilliant minds of the Upspring Company. Yes, yes, THE Upspring Company, who brought us "Shrinkx Hips."

I'm admittedly quick to judge this item, but I have two strong reasons to do so. First, as sure as "Euro" anything increases the price/desirability of a given product, novelty spelling of a word in your product is a red flag for cheesy-ness. Secondly, it is curiously reminiscent of those vibration belt weight loss machines from the '50's. Surely we can find a better, and less embarrassing way to spend $55.